What I’ve Learned

Over the past few years I have learned a lot about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses and my complete idiocy.

It’s no secret that I’ve had another brain surgery…hell, two more! I honestly thought I would sail through this latest installment. Boy was I WRONG. I suppose my brain simply forgot. My initial brain surgery was like childbirth in essence – you just block out the pain. Perhaps it was two in five days that did me in this round, or the adverse reaction to anesthesia, or the heavy sedation.

This has by far been the most difficult road I have yet to encounter. However, I’d like to think I managed to do so in true Sally style. Most everyone knows I find humor in even the most stressful situation. As with anything lately, I have learned a great deal from my latest experience.

There is no being modest. Especially in ICU! Hospital gowns are thrown around and monitors are everywhere. Your everything is shown to just about anyone who slides the door.

Bedpans are of the devil. I begged to be allowed to get up, but there is no getting up with an exposed brain and a bolt sticking out of it. My entire body shut down at the mere sight of those vile pans – thank The Lord for cold cloths! Bedpans are humiliating business.

A person should not be held accountable to any conversation or action while heavily sedated. I’m pretty sure I made promises to both my husband and mother that I will never keep. According to one eyewitness report, I showed my ass (in more ways than one) to one of my doctors. Although I made him laugh, I’m pretty sure my drug induced state removed all filters. I must remember to apologize at my follow up appointment.

NEVER, under any circumstance, is it a good idea to whip out the iPhone! I’m sending a message to all spouses who are told that it will be fine to hand it over to their medicated loved one. The amount of pictures that I thought would be “neat,” or text messages to best friends that seemed appropriate are horrifying. Nobody needs to know just how full of glee you are that you finally got a potty chair!

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Run any thought you want to discuss with hospital staff by a loved one before opening your mouth. Every single person that walked through my door – doctor, nurse or otherwise got an earful on how surprised I was about the amount of pain I was in at the time. One completely awesome resident actually looked at my husband and mother and said, “Is she being serious?! Does she not understand what has been done to her?” Of course I was serious – I am STILL horrified by the amount of pain I was in and what remains to this day. There were several other things that I exclaimed in the presence of hospital staff that might have been avoided had I run my thoughts by someone BEFORE saying them!

I am abundantly grateful for my entire team of supporters. There are no words to express how amazing every single person has been. My doctors are some of the most brilliant people roaming this Earth! My nurses have been rockstars and work harder than any people I know. My family. Gosh – I can’t even begin…they kept me going when I didn’t think I could go. They made me smile (at all costs), and they showed me the true meaning of family.

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Filed under Brain, Life, My Girls, Sally, What?

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