Wine, The Dentist and The Anaconda

It’s been a long morning. I’ve been wrestling an anaconda (well, at least that is what it feels like.)

Both of my children have an irrational fear of doctor visits and visits to the dentist. For every visit I am repeatedly questioned:

“I don’t have to get a shot do I?!”

“Please don’t let them take blood. I don’t have to do that do I? DOOO I?!!!!”

“There are no poky things at the dentist are there?”

“No needles of any sort are going to be used, right?”

Nobody loves a needle! I get that. I just don’t get the insanity that occurs when the word injection is used. It’s like my children become two-headed monsters and it takes super hero strength to handle them.

My oldest is better now that she is in her 20’s. I say better because you can actually reason with her and she doesn’t become hysterical. However, she does suffer from a real medical syndrome called vasovagal syncope. Google it – It’s a real condition with real triggers. I had never heard of it until her surgeon explained it. She sees her own blood, or experiences great pain and down she goes. She gets the cold sweats…she turns white…and she faints. Out cold. She cannot help it. It has gotten better with age because she can sometimes talk herself down from the ledge and do breathing exercises. I still worry that she could go down.

My youngest, however, has a deep seeded delirious fear that I cannot explain or console. I’ve purchased every book in the world, had every type of conversation, and still the fear appears in explosive ways. I dread vaccinations, or bloodwork! DREAD. She becomes freakishly strong and incredibly stubborn. It has taken four people to hold her for booster shots. Go ahead and shake your head, question my parenting, and think about how YOU would make sure this did not happen. I get it, but I scoff. My redhead is not going to do it any other way than how SHE wants to do it.

Today the thing I have feared the most with one of my children occurred. Dental work…with NEEDLES!!! The dentist, his assistant and yours truly offered every gentle nudge right down to the threats. The jaw would clench and there was no rational bone in her body. So much so that she insisted that our beloved dentist work without numbing meds. Well, you know how THAT went. A hideous, massive anaconda appeared and we all had to wrestle it to save ourselves.

What should have been a 10 minute visit turned into a 30 minute ordeal for the books. Eventually the Novocain was injected (as we knew would be the end result) and the work was complete. We were all haggered and worn. There was mention of needing Valium and wine…and that was from the dentist. We all composed ourselves, said our apologies and went on with the rest of our morning. The anaconda turned back into my precious redhead (whimpering of course).

The morning went on and I couldn’t get the poor dentist or assistant out of my head. So at noon I went BACK to the office with bottles of wine and a note, “I can’t supply the Valium, but I CAN supply the wine.”



1 Comment

Filed under Life, Mary Beth, My Girls, Sarah

One response to “Wine, The Dentist and The Anaconda

  1. Diana

    loved this post. came across it via the “fray” post. I can only imagine what it must be like to live with this kind of fear. (I have had only good experiences with dentists, despite numerous needles. I am fortunate.) I don’t know what part of the world you live in, but what some dentists in my part of the world are using now instead of needles is laughing gas. This seems to work really well for some people. Relaxes them enough — and, I am assuming, also anaesthatizes. May be worth asking about for future. Love the bottles, too. Great response/gift!


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